Like Agent 007 himself, criminal mastermind Ernst Stavro Blofeld — the head of the global organization SPECTRE — has appeared in numerous installments in the James Bond franchise. The different versions of the villain portrayed by different actors have caused Bond much pain, including killing the only woman he ever married.
While Blofeld’s schemes are always impressive, so are his remarks. Dialogue scenes involving the overarching antagonist always stand out because he not only crafts his words well but also speaks in the stereotypical yet assured manner that some of the best villains do. Over the years, the boss of bosses has served viewers some incredible lines.
10 “What Took You So Long? Cuckoo!”
In Spectre, James thinks he has gotten in without getting noticed when he sneaks into a high-profile SPECTRE meeting in Rome. However, Blofeld notices him and welcomes him, making sure to remind him of the “cuckoo” nickname.
Once again, Blofeld demonstrates that he has his eyes everywhere. Even a master of stealth, like Bond, can’t do anything without him knowing about it. The “cuckoo” name stems from the fact that Blofeld’s father took to liking Bond more than his own son when they were younger. Among birds, the cuckoo always forces the biological offspring out of the nest, too.
9 “Goodbye, Mr. Bond. I Trust You Had A Pleasant … Fright.”
For Your Eyes Only starts with Bond being summoned back to the MI6 headquarters after visiting the grave of his wife, Tracy. Suddenly, the pilot that’s transporting him gets killed by an electricity surge. Someone taunts Bond over the speaker, throwing in a pun as he describes his current experience as a “fright,” and it’s Blofeld.
It’s one of the many instances in which Blofeld has almost killed Bond. Here, he almost succeeds, but unfortunately for him, there is no plane Bond can’t fly and no car he can’t drive. The incident also shows just how much Blofeld enjoys hurting Bond. Trying to kill him only a few months after killing his wife is as heartless as it gets.
8 “It Was All Me, James. It’s Always Been Me. The Author Of All Your Pain.”
Bond gets a rude shock when he visits one of the best villain bases in the franchise, Blofeld’s Casablanca lair. He learns that the villain has been behind everything that happened since Casino Royale. And as he is still processing the information, he gets captured and tortured.
With these words, Bond establishes himself as the overarching villain of the franchise, and deservedly so. As he makes the revelation to Bond, he is surrounded by thousands of tech gurus, all monitoring global events on their computer screens. The moment also outlines his intelligence, as the MI6 agent who always considers himself smart had no idea what was happening.
7 “One Of These Days We Must Invent A Faster-Working Venom.”
In From Russia With Love, Blofeld becomes furious when SPECTRE’s Agent Kronsteen fails in his plan to steal a Lektor cryptographic device from the Soviets. He quickly has Kronsteen executed via a poisoned spike on his shoe. Blofeld then laments that it took a whole 12 seconds for the poison to kill him.
Blofeld’s words here are the perfect demonstration of his sadistic nature. Most villains would only care whether the person they wanted dead is indeed dead. Blofeld is specific with the amount of time it takes for that to happen. 12 seconds is quick enough but not for Blofeld, who feels that enemies ought to be eliminated much quicker.
6 “No No No, Mr. Bond. Respectable Baronets From The College Of Heralds Do Not Seduce Female Patients In Clinics.”
Bond pretends to be a British genealogist named Sir Hilary Bray in On Her Majesty’s Secret Service in order to infiltrate Blofeld’s camp. However, Blofeld figures him out. The MI6 agent’s weakness has always been falling for every lady he meets. The habit has ruined his missions on a couple of occasions and this is but one of those instances.
His penchant for mixing work with pleasure enables Blofeld to begin suspecting him and figure out that he is indeed the famed British agent. Bond still comes out on top at the end, but not without paying a hefty price.
5 “We Appreciate Your Predicament, Mr. Bond.”
Diamonds Are Forever has two of the best henchmen in Bond movies, Mr. Kidd and Mr. Wint, but another thing that stands out about the movie is Blofeld having a clone. Bond has a hard time figuring out who the real Blofeld is, and the two similarly-looking figures make sure to mock Bond’s predicament.
Blofeld has never had a shortage of tricks up his sleeve and his decision to have himself cloned fits in with the time the movie came out. Cloning was a big topic and so Bond had to ride the wave. But as expected, Bond’s predicaments never last long. He eventually figures out Blofeld’s scheme and thwarts it.
4 “I’ve Really Put You Through A Lot, Haven’t I? Well, That’s Brothers For You.”
Towards the end of Spectre, Blofeld gives Bond a choice. He can chase after him or go save Madeleine, who is trapped in a building he has rigged with explosives. Noticing Bond’s dilemma, he mocks him.
Sibling rivalries have been explored many times in movies. While the sibling storyline between Bond and Blofeld wasn’t appreciated by critics, this quote makes it more worthwhile. Bond and Blofeld are nothing alike, but that’s what makes them all the more intriguing.
3 “Please Signal Your Acceptance Of Our Terms By Arranging For Big Ben To Strike Seven Times At 6 PM Tomorrow.”
Blofeld is an ambitious antagonist and in Thunderball, he sends a tape recording to the Prime Minister, informing him that SPECTRE is now in possession of two atomic bombs previously located inside a NATO plane. He demands £100,000,000 and advises the Prime Minister to signal his acceptance by having Big Ben ring seven times.
The “E” in SPECTRE stands for extortion so Blofeld’s message to the UK Premier fits in with that specific goal of the criminal organization. Since the movie came out in 1965, the figure Blofeld quotes equals over £1 billion today when adjusted to inflation. Given the huge amounts he chases after, it’s no shocker that Blofeld is one of the wealthiest Bond villains.
2 “The Culprit Is Known To Me. I Have Decided On The Appropriate Action.”
During another SPECTRE meeting in Thunderball, Blofeld is informed that only $2,300,000 has been collected from the distribution of Red China narcotics in America. The figure doesn’t impress him, so he asks the person guilty of embezzlement to confess. When no one says a thing, Blofeld has Number 11 electrocuted in his seat.
The electrocution isn’t as big a surprise as the fact that the culprit wasn’t aware of the fact that Blofeld always knows everything. He was bound to find out that someone stole his money. Part of what makes the villain brilliant is that literally, nothing on earth happens without his knowledge, let alone his own organization.
1 “Our Organization Didn’t Arrange For You To Come Over From The Russians Just For Amusement.”
Blofeld once goes on a lengthy monologue about Siamese fish while speaking to Rosa Kleeb. He tells her how one always waits for two to fight before attacking the exhausted one. Rosa is amused but Blofeld isn’t.
Given Blofeld’s personality, it’s expected that he would tell an interesting tale then expect the people listening to not react to it. To him, he didn’t talk about Siamese fish for entertainment purposes. He expects Kleeb to learn something from them and that is to take advantage of people when they are at their most vulnerable.
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